HollywoodLand

For now — Days 1 & 2: 10 hours of sleep in three days + in&out + LA traffic + touristy sites + a beautiful view from the Griffith (one of my new favorite places in the country) + reppin’ VA on the dance floor + being “of age” at a Kaba party + hot dog on a stick + muscle beach + cute new friends + good old friends + KIIS FM music + getting dark in 90 degree weather + awkward turtles + spooning + Santa Monica Pierness + a crying liver + little Tokyo + 35-cent margaritas + Roscoe’s chicken&waffles + LA driving madness + Gerald! + UC Irvine + Contemporary Art + dimples + dunks + 3am bedtimes.

T-Minus 5 Days

For once — I feel motivated; working for something I really want to do; going somewhere I really want to go to. It’s a good feeling to get away from everything holding me back and down, even if it’s just for a few days. I’m excited and scared and throwing caution to the wind, but that’s life, right?

And I’d just like to add that I do have the best-worst luck. I guess my physical being isn’t ready to let me settle even if I’m emotionally capable (for once) of it. Oh well. Meeting people and getting to know them is still awesome, even if it’s for a limited time. But one does always tend to wonder about the “what ifs” of the future.

Finally — Spain in December. Holy crap. I hope I can get my DSLR by then.

Avec

Sometimes I wish I were the ultimate romantic. I’m not. As much as I pretend to be, my brain will always draw the line between fantasy and reality. It’s a fine line, I’ll admit to that, but it’s a line. And usually I make the conscious decision to cross it. And I think that proves I’m not the die-hard-core romantic I try to be. Because real romantics don’t know they’ve crossed the line ’til they’re hurt. 

Romance isn’t enough for me. In addition to all the fantastical dreams — I need logic to back everything up. I need sensible rationality to help me accept things. Romantics accept things unconditionally. They will take what they can knowing love is enough to keep them going. That’s not the case with me. Eighty percent of me loves romance and idealism and can watch movies like Il Mare without asking too many questions. But then there’s still twenty percent left wondering Why and How and all the other questions left unanswered in the void. And the thing is — there is no answer. There never is when it comes to unconditional love. It just is. But I can’t wrap my brain, or my heart, around that yet.