
I have got to be one of the biggest idiots this side of life has seen. But you know, it’s fun and entertaining, although a little pointless and stress-filled. But what in life isn’t, right?
Edit 10.11.08
Fkcfckfckfck. I get myself into the worst situations sometimes. I tell myself I’ll be okay and I’m stronger this time around and it-is-what-it-is but behind all that, I’m one weak motherfcker. Everyone always ends up leaving and it makes me sad. No wonder I have a fear of commitment. I’m fucking scared of giving someone whatever I can give because deep down inside, I’ve talked myself into believing they’re going to eventually leave me. My brain and insides are all sorts of mashed up because of everything that’s happened and I don’t like it. I want to cry and shout and scream and rant and rave because life shouldn’t be like this. But I can’t. There’s no other emotion in me other than frustration and disappointment. The lethargic kind. I can feel it in my heart, I just can’t do anything about it. FUCK. I have five days left. Another day, another failed attempt at a relationship.