October 28, 2008: After a short but serious period of emotional upheaval, your life is finally going to start calming down. There could be one lingering drama that just won’t die, but it will at least be small enough that you can ignore it for a while. This return to your routine is something quite welcome, and will make you appreciate the quiet joys of your life — like having time to be bored! You’ll enjoy having quiet moments by yourself, so try to get in as many as possible.
October 27, 2008: Hey, loosen up there! You can’t become too obsessed with every little detail in life. Everything is what it is — some things can be changed, but some things cannot be. You’ll be doing yourself a huge favor by understanding the difference between the two, especially in your personal life. Problems could arise in a partnership if you are unwilling to just let things go. You cannot change a person, you can only communicate how their behavior affects you.
In college, my professor suggested I watch this movie. I was trying to write a screenplay at the time, and I needed inspiration. A muse. Some kind of idea on how and why I wrote what I wrote and what I need to fix and how I need to fix that. Watch this movie. Watch this part.
Need I say more?
I never believe these — I mean they can always apply to the most generic situations. I always read them anyway and try to apply it to something in my life… The past few weeks though — they’ve been ridiculous.
“There is an art to playing hard to get. Push it too far, and you will end up missing out on an amazing relationship. So if you are working on luring a new romantic interest, you need to keep in mind that not everyone has the energy, attitude or drive to knock down every brick of the wall you’ve put up. They’ll only try for so long, so before they give up and go away, reach out to them today. You’ve been bewildering to them for too long. Make the connection.”
I have got to be one of the biggest idiots this side of life has seen. But you know, it’s fun and entertaining, although a little pointless and stress-filled. But what in life isn’t, right?
Edit 10.11.08
Fkcfckfckfck. I get myself into the worst situations sometimes. I tell myself I’ll be okay and I’m stronger this time around and it-is-what-it-is but behind all that, I’m one weak motherfcker. Everyone always ends up leaving and it makes me sad. No wonder I have a fear of commitment. I’m fucking scared of giving someone whatever I can give because deep down inside, I’ve talked myself into believing they’re going to eventually leave me. My brain and insides are all sorts of mashed up because of everything that’s happened and I don’t like it. I want to cry and shout and scream and rant and rave because life shouldn’t be like this. But I can’t. There’s no other emotion in me other than frustration and disappointment. The lethargic kind. I can feel it in my heart, I just can’t do anything about it. FUCK. I have five days left. Another day, another failed attempt at a relationship.
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