Candid

1. I love knowing that some friends will always be there, no matter what. Weeks, months, years can go by without their presence in your life, but when you two meet up for brunch or breakfast or dinner or drinks, it’ll be like you just saw them yesterday. No one makes anyone else feel guilty about anything, they’re just there, and they will always be there when you need it, no questions asked.
2. Sometimes, all you really need is wine, good company, and lots and lots of chocolate.
3. I hate it when guys say, “I’m Different.” Cause they’re not. They’re almost all the same. I want to hear a guy say, “I’m just like any other guy, but here’s why you should still be with me.” On the other side of the spectrum, I hate it when sweet talkers say I’m different. Cause I’m not. I’m just like any other girl. I don’t put you on a pedestal, you shouldn’t put me on one either.
4. I wasn’t prepared for this Christmas. I kind of ran away from my obligations for a while because I was trying to deal with some things, and then suddenly, I was back at work, only having enough time to eat and sleep everyday, that I didn’t have time to get any presents or make myself feel any kind of Christmas cheer. December’s always been a tough month for me.
5. I wish sex meant something more to me than just sex. It’s never meant love or affirmed a relationship for what it is. It’s always just been the act of a penis in a vagina several times. That doesn’t mean I whore myself out. It’s never been about love, but it’s also never been about pleasure for me. Fireworks never went off. The fuse just kind of, stopped. Sad, huh? 
6. I like Dunkin Donuts better than Krispy Kreme. 
7. I didn’t realize how much pride I had til it got kicked to the curb. For all my claims of independence and she-woman-ness, I am a very proud female. And what sucks is it only took two weeks for it to come crashing down. For the wall to fall apart and for me to revert back to a sense of frailty. I gotta work harder to build a tougher wall next time.
8. I hate hate hate it when people say things won’t change. I hate it even more when people promise me nothing is going to change between us. That’s a lie. Change is inevitable. What you have to do is prove to people that you’ll work when change comes. Don’t promise me you’ll be here forever (whether we’re just friends or something more). I’ve learned people leave. But while you’re here, make our time together worth it.
9. I have offered many people the chance to visit me at work. It has surprised me to see who has taken me up on that offer.
10. Some people don’t understand that, just because I am frustrated with the male sex, doesn’t mean I hold girls up on a higher standard. Girls suck just as much as guys do. Some girls are crazy, some are out to break your heart, and for all you fools who continuously go to the same kind of girl to see if she’ll be different than the next, good luck. That goes for the same with girls who continuously go for a certain type of male hoping “this one will be different” (including me). Stay away from sweet talkers and heart breakers. They’ve done these things one too many times and they know how to get you.
11. I’ve never had anyone to kiss when the clock struck midnight on New Year’s Eve. I’ve always been with family, and the first person I probably turned to was my mom or dad. I’ve also never kissed anyone under the mistletoe. I wonder if/when that will change.
12. I’ve stopped trying to explain my schedule to people I’ve explained it to many times before. Either you get it or you don’t. I work weird hours, I can’t socialize on weekends (all I do is sleep, eat, and work. Seriously), Sundays & Thursdays are kind of my days off, I go to sleep at 4am. Oddly, when I am off, I do like to go out. Because I know when I eventually leave the bubble of Virginia Beach, I won’t see anyone again for a long time.
13. If you’ve read the Twilight series, can you tell me when you started crying? I’ve been gushy and mushy and girly with all the other parts, and now I’m on book two and I can’t seem to find myself feeling anything. I’m as numb as she is. Oh, and Edward Cullen has ruined all other males for me.
14. Don’t keep me on a leash, even after we’ve ended whatever it is we had. I hate knowing that I am the type of person who will always be there for you, for every beck and call. But as much as I hate it, I am that person. And everyone who knows me knows that fact. I will be there for you no matter how much you dicked me over. But I hate it when people use that knowledge to their advantage. Please, don’t abuse that power over me.
15. My back’s been bruised for almost a month now. My doctor says all I need are 2 Aleves twice a day. I dunno… Sometimes it hurts to be in/get out of bed, stand, sit, walk, laugh, and drive. This probably isn’t a good thing.
16. I’ve learned to do everything for myself instead of for someone else. I used to think maybe the more I did for them, the more they’d want to stay. They never stayed. So now I’m finally learning to act selfishly and do what makes me happy first. You next. Maybe someone will come along and prove to me that’s not how life works. You know where to find me.